Hello my lovely underlings,
I do apologize for the lack of connection from my channel as of recent weeks (although I have always adored the sound of TV static). I have been enjoying a sojourn in my home of the red velvet void and have only recently emerged back into this world. Pay no mind to the fresh notches carved into my pistol, as they are entirely unrelated.
You may be concerned that I have gone into hiding due to some grave embarrassment or threat to my livelihood. While I regret to disappoint, my absence can instead be explained by the overexertion that total excellence can often cause. I would like to share with you some of the achievements (some fresh and some quite stale) that have brought me steps closer to the realization of my wicked plan (wouldn't you like to know?).